Make Life More Fun Tip #7: Be the Fan Who Runs Out Onto the Field

Now here at makelifemorefun.com (officially referred to as MLMF from here on), we do NOT condone criminal behaviour. Our motto essentially says that if you have fun doing something you should do it; no shame, no judgement, just do your thang. The exception to our motto is any criminal activity. Have fun doing what you love, but not if it’s grand larceny or murder. That’s not cool.

A big part of our motto, which is probably not stated outright, is that while you’re having fun, hopefully others will be having fun too. Hence the title of the website, you will making life more fun for everyone.

Now putting these two thoughts together, I think the only minor disturbance and/or lawbreaking we wi condone, is that of the idiot sports fan. Yesterday at the Blue Jays game some a guy ran onto the field. My immediate reaction: HELL YEAH!

Now I’m an idiot myself, so when a fellow brother partakes in general public idiocy, I applaud his efforts. What I didn’t expect was the standing ovation, wolf whistles, and generally a better reception than Jose Bautista got all day. It was awesome.

The Jays were winning, the dome was open, the beer was flowing, and to top it all off, some guy ran from the first base line to the third base line to, just to get tackled by three security guards. Amazing.

Kudos to you sir. May you always be a shining light to all sporting fans. Don’t drop the soap!

20130506-174612.jpg

Make Life More Fun Tip #6: Memorize A Song That Is Completely Out Of Character

Do you have a favourite song? Do you now all the words to it? Perfectly?

Sing it. Sing it right now.

I mean if you’re alone then no biggie right? Just a dude, chilling, singing a song. Always a good time. But if you’re at work or school or any other crowded place? Even better. You get a chance to showcase your talents, which include a great singing voice, or at the very least the capability to memorize song lyrics. It’s awesome and a lot of fun.

Sure there will be those people who think you’re crazy, but seriously, fuck ’em. If they can’t enjoy free music then they’re not worth your time. You’re better than them. You made the junior varsity football team in high school. You rank in the top 10000 for NHL 2K11 multiplayer. Charlie Sheen retweeted something you wrote on Twitter. And you know all the ticking words to Crazy Train.

So sing it loud and sing it proud, you champion. You have your song. You know it by heart. Now go and tell the world.

Inspiration:

This tip was originally “memorize a song that’s completely out of character” I thought of it when I was watching My Name Is Earl and they played this montage of Ethan Suplee’s character Randy after being dumped. I’m not going to ruin it, just take a gander:

http://www.mojvideo.com/video-my-name-is-earl-time-after-time/cc6419c0aa4781338198

Then there’s this clip from a different episode:

PS My Name Is Earl is a better show than you give it credit for, dick

Make Life More Fun Tip #5: Throw Your Food At The Wall

Dear United Synagogue Day School Bayview campus,

13 years ago I was spending my lunch break with two of my cohorts in the stairwell, just joking and eating, and engaging in all around hooliganism. There was pushing and shoving and lots of laughs, and before I knew it I was handed a Hostess cupcake.

You know the cupcake I’m talking about: chocolate cake with dried chocolate icing and cream in the middle. Basically a fat 13-year-old’s wet dream (but 13 is the puberty age, so it could’ve been a regular wet dream). And as a fat 13-year-old, I was very excited to receive such a treat (the cupcake, not the dream. Okay I’ll stop with that). This excitement was only underlined by the severe lack of Hostess cupcakes in my life at the time. The Ziploc baggie of grapes just wasn’t cutting it anymore. So when my friends had Hostess cupcakes in their lunches, I was relentless. “Can I have that?”; “you gonna eat that?”; “Hey look over there!” *snatch* *lick* “…I licked that, sooo you probably don’t want it anymore, eh?”. Just general fat cupcake-greed. And it was probably one of these methods that landed me a cupcake on that faithful day. And as much as I would have loved to eat that cupcake, I didn’t. You can probably guess what I did do, U.S.D.S. Bayview. I mean you are a school; you should be smart enough to decipher that the title of the article and the point of the story are related. But since you are in fact a building that I’m writing to, I will simplify things:

I didn’t eat the cupcake. I threw the cupcake at the stairwell wall.

You may be asking yourself, U.S.D.S. Bayview, “but why, anonymous letter writer? Why??”. Well I can’t really tell you why. I really don’t know why. I just felt like doing it. And it was fun while I did it. And it was fun after I did it. There was cake and frosting and cream stuck to the wall. There was a pile of crumbs at the foot of the stairs. There was an uproar of laughter and confusion from my friends, as well as from myself, because I really had no idea what compelled me to do such a thing. But it was a lot of fun. I still talk about it with one of my friends who was there. When we visited the stairwell days, weeks, months later, the mess was still on the wall. We talk about it, and we laugh. I laugh the hardest, because I know: I left my mark on you, U.S.D.S Bayview. My cream is all over your walls.

I’m not apologizing by the way. It’s just a fun story and a fun thing to do when you just need to spontaneously change gears.

Sincerely,

J.G.

(I totally just covered my tracks – Jesse Ganz)

But look, I know this sounds stupid, reckless, wasteful, and just a dick move, but seriously it’s kinda really fun. I’m not telling you to do it everyday. I’m not even telling you to do it more than once. I’m just saying, if you haven’t thrown some splattery food against a wall, ever in your life, consider it. It’s a good alternative to getting angry, being bored, eating. Just picture it, ok? Are you picturing it? Good! Does it look like fun? I know, right?!

Happy April Fool’s Day! Hebrew day school sucks! But thank you to my parents for taking an interest in my education and my future!!!

Front Page Image: http://www.thedailypage.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=35&t=55002&start=15

Make Life More Fun Tip #4: Wrestle Your Dog

Ever wonder why you’re dog’s barking at you all the time? It’s cause he thinks you’re a pussy!

Let’s get 1 thing straight: After the whole Vick/Mexico debacle that happened a few years ago, dog fighting has gotten a bad rap. Well that’s cause it should. Dog fighting is terrible. Dogs should not be fighting each other for sport or for gambling or for the entertainment of shkeezy assholes; Dogs should be fighting you! For dominance! For steak! And most importantly, for the right to pee on the couch!!!

So let’s all agree that “dog wrestling” is NOT “dog fighting”. It is good, playful fun, and I am a genius. Agreed? Agreed!

Objective: Pin your dog for a count of 3!

Here are the ground rules:

1. You must wrestle your own dog. Don’t go around wrestling other people’s dogs. That’s just weird. When you wrestle you’re own dog, it’s fine, CAUSE IT’S YOUR DOG!

2. Your dog is allowed to do the following:

You are allowed to:

  • use basic grapples

Understand? You need to pin your dog, THAT’S IT!

Optional:

  • Costumes
  • Wrestling ring
  • Michael Buffer
  • Back stories/plot lines

Now I understand this may still be a bit confusing but just remember this: When you wrestle your dog, there’s a 50-50 chance you’ll win!

Now siiiit. Shaaaake. Fight! Good boy…

Front page image: http://www.paghat.com/empireofthechihuahua/chi-wrestlers.html

“Your Dog” still-frame from: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAm79T6qScU

Scrappy-Doo Image from: http://www.hdwallpapersarena.com/puppy-power-wallpapers.html

Make Life More Fun Tip #2: Use Words Inappropriately

This tip can easily be titled as “talk funny”, but the most important thing to keep in mind is that yoiu are concious of your inappropriate word choice.

Also, I’m using the term “inappropriate” to describe a word that doesn’t correctly fit into a sentence, most likely due to grammatical error or the fact that the word doesn’t really exist. Nevertheless, the term “inappropriate word” does NOT mean a swear word, a curse word, or any other word your mother with scold you for. You should be using those words on a daily basis already and shouldn’t need the a website to tell you so, even if it’s the greatest website ever created in the history of time. (Suck it Google, Wikipedia, and IMDB!)

As I was saying, talking funny is fun. Just now, when I typed “taking funny”, I totally said it “talkin'”. Because it’s fun. Totally fun.

So it can be as simple as saying the word “irregardless” instead of regardless”. It can be as simple as saying “wicked smaht” instead of “wicked smart”. It’s your choice, but here are some guidelines:

1. Make it your own

Movie and TV quotes are by no means off limits, but you want it to sound natural. There shouldn’t be a moment where you wait for someone to realize you’re talking like Forrest Gump. It should sound like you being you, just talking funny. And if someone does realize you’re referencing a movie or TV show, just say something like: “Yeah that’s where it’s from, but I like saying it”.

2. Don’t use it to death:

Whatever you’re saying, however you’re saying it, you shouldn’t be saying it 15 times in 5 minutes. Again, you want it to sound natural. It makes it funnier if you just slip it in once in a while, so check yourself before you riggity wreck yourself. Plus your friends won’t hate you as much if you don’t sound like a dumbass one-track Speak and Say.

Inspiration:
*Disclaimer: This inspiration borders on potty talk. If you are easily shocked by the word “urine” or faint at the mention of bodily functions, you should probably skip it.

The inspiration for this tip is actually not taken from a movie or TV show, but something I find myself doing on a frequent basis. Aside from being super-awesome, I’m just a regular person like everyone else. I eat, I sleep, and on occasion, I go to the bathroom. What concerns me from time to time is how to excuse myself from situations when nature calls. It may be polite not to say anything too specific and just excuse myself. But there’s also a realization factor. I need to recognize the urge to go to the bathroom. And if that happens, I’m not usually thinking “I gotta pee” or “I gotta piss”. I usually think “I gotta urine”.

What you’ve probably noticed is that “urine” is a noun, and not a verb. The verb form is “urinate”. I have in fact used the word inappropriately (wink). Why? Two reasons:

1) I’m so lazy I don’t even want to think about an extra syllable.

2) It’s fun.

Nuff’ said? Nuff’ said.

I’m gonna go urine.

Make Life More Fun Tip #1: Are you HIM???

Whenever someone walks into a room that you’ve already been sitting in for a while, turn to them and before they say anything ask: “Are you him?”

Example:

Let’s say for example you’re the only one home. Outside in your neighbourhood is a gang of teenagers armed with clipboards laden with newspaper subscription forms. The doorbell rings. You’re expecting Swiss Chalet delivery so your habitual fear of opening the door for strangers is muted. You notice through the glass in the doorway that the person outside isn’t wearing a red windbreaker or red hat, and is carrying a said clipboard instead of a red delivery bag. You take a deep breath and open the door swiftly:

Teenager: Hel…

You: Are you HIM???

Teenager: Silence

You: Silence

Teenager: Backs away slowly

You: Closes door slowly

And no one ever asks you to sign up for a newspaper subscription again.

Inspiration:

The inspiration for this tip comes from Lost (Season 2 Episode 2 “Adrift”). I’m not going to spoil anything for you late-comers, but essentially … well watch the video. (Technically, this is the 3rd time the question “Are you him?” is asked. To get the full effect check out the episode.)

Front Page image from: Lost – Season 2 Episode 2