Make Life More Fun Tip #4: Wrestle Your Dog

Ever wonder why you’re dog’s barking at you all the time? It’s cause he thinks you’re a pussy!

Let’s get 1 thing straight: After the whole Vick/Mexico debacle that happened a few years ago, dog fighting has gotten a bad rap. Well that’s cause it should. Dog fighting is terrible. Dogs should not be fighting each other for sport or for gambling or for the entertainment of shkeezy assholes; Dogs should be fighting you! For dominance! For steak! And most importantly, for the right to pee on the couch!!!

So let’s all agree that “dog wrestling” is NOT “dog fighting”. It is good, playful fun, and I am a genius. Agreed? Agreed!

Objective: Pin your dog for a count of 3!

Here are the ground rules:

1. You must wrestle your own dog. Don’t go around wrestling other people’s dogs. That’s just weird. When you wrestle you’re own dog, it’s fine, CAUSE IT’S YOUR DOG!

2. Your dog is allowed to do the following:

You are allowed to:

  • use basic grapples

Understand? You need to pin your dog, THAT’S IT!

Optional:

  • Costumes
  • Wrestling ring
  • Michael Buffer
  • Back stories/plot lines

Now I understand this may still be a bit confusing but just remember this: When you wrestle your dog, there’s a 50-50 chance you’ll win!

Now siiiit. Shaaaake. Fight! Good boy…

Front page image: http://www.paghat.com/empireofthechihuahua/chi-wrestlers.html

“Your Dog” still-frame from: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAm79T6qScU

Scrappy-Doo Image from: http://www.hdwallpapersarena.com/puppy-power-wallpapers.html

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